The date can't come soon enough. I am throwing out the first pitch at the Padres vs. Phillies game.
Here's how it will go down. I am going to get out there, wind up, and throw a 100 mph fastball. This will start the fast track to my signing with a Major League Baseball team in which I will make seven figures and become the main character of the next ESPN feel good sports movie.
I get up there, wind up, one hop the ball in the dirt and let it trickle to the glove of the catcher. Instead of signing with a team I become the next most laughed at subject on youtube shown around offices nationwide. Never quite hitting that seven figure income threshold.